Monday, February 05, 2007 ;
2/05/2007 12:22:00 AM
i just wana cry out
it hurts so much
maybe you were right
maybe it would have helped.
it did. 3 weeks. not its not.
its not so easy.
to leave it behind and continue life as if nothing seemed to happen.
especially when you hit off couple of times without seeming to budge.
its amazing.
really
i dont know why you shed.
you wont tell me so why ask?
and then i do, yeah.
comforting. i need that sometimes.
its not how deep your friendships are.
its the face and image of the truth you give.
if you give me a halfved view, so will i
and thats what i did.
it hurts you know? to try and not succeed while you carry on
seeming so happy? when i got no one to turn to now?
everyone's gone. nobody at all.
and so there it goes i carry on my story my life so sad
i come home alone, feeling sad most of the times.
unknowing what to do. sometimes put a happy face on to cheer the mood for you
and you have the right to be happy, the right to ask. i dont know.
do i ever cross boundaries hmm. i dont know really.
its all about the small things we do. the small things.
i know you dont. no more. maybe i'm wrong well thats what i'm hoping for.
but i dont think you do. not anymore. you've moved on.
that was fast. you moved over in a week when u loved so much.
and now that you dont. isnt surprising you'd take less.
i never wanted to do this again. blog at 12.29 am when there's school in 6 hours.
maybe making u cry too? i'm sorry. for my coldness.
but to me, its no more than flirting. nothing more. yes.
you might wana tell the persons you busy bodies. yes. do so if you please
i'm not always hypocritical you know. there'll be a time when i'll speak up,
come out of my shell. i'm just watching, waiting to see. thats all.
if you wana ask? yes i still do. its not like i've immediately moved on
loving you. more. i dont know why. just happened. maybe its true
the more u dont want, the more it'l happen. i dont know.
probably needing to go now? alrights. i'm sorry for today
for yesterday for friday where i wasted your time. i've been of no use.
from today onwards maybe i'll just lead an anti-social life like some we know.
people who have no friends, but all enemies. well i do have friends.
just that they arent anything to me as you are.
i dont know why i'm so weak. maybe i've not accepted it yet. i dont know
but i still love the way it felt. i long for that. just a moment. its savoured.
thinking of it every now and then. i write sad stuff yeah.
sometimes you feel like your life has ended. its like this now. i dont know where i am.
what i'm doing. really. i dont know why i'm still seemingly alive. but oh well
i guess i'll stop.
Dear God, if there's anything i can do, show me oh God, show me how to do this. its hard for me and i know its hard for You too, but God i really need you now, when no one's here for me. i need to know what to do, and what you have planned for me. God, it really is confusing i dont know why You've done this, but i know that its in time that you'll show me Your way. Amen.
every life is a new experience
