heys people.

sighs. today didnt work out well for me. i dont know. had CCA after school and all. and i dont know. just wasnt happy today. its like i have the most fucked up life ever. sighs. i dont wana swear and all but maybe thats the only way to solve this stupid fucked up problems. its so ridiculous. seriously. i dont know what to do about everything. its like you know, sometimes you want it, sometimes you dont. you cant have it whatever way you want to. and then when u dont want it, its there, but when u want it its not. its so stupid. arghs. sighs.

after cca came home and just slacked. dinner was like fucking unappetizing, so didnt eat. got mad at my mom. shouted at her. who really cares lahs. i hate my parents. they're just so fuced up, especially my mom. i dont care about whatever she wants to say as long as i dont hear it. i dont care what anyone thinks of me seriously. i dont care what everyone schemes against me, what everyone lies about me, what everyone who tells lies to me, i dont care what your value is, i dont care what you lied about, all i know is that you're contradictory and you're just a fucked up person with a fucked up life. if you cant find anything better, then just leave and dont even bother about anything cuz maybe no one really bothers about you. like who cares whatever you think of anyone. just vamous.

well that surely isnt enough to vent my frustration. a math test was kinda tricky today. but who cares. afterall i'm gonna flunk my o levels. like fuck. i hate the teachers in school. especially those relief teachers. just so pissed off by everything. fucking chinese test tomorrow. whatever lahs. fail lahs. who gives a fuck about it. i dont know lahs. just so pissed. go get near again, like anything would make me go real mad to do something stupid to you. if its mutual, lies was all i had. who cares. afterall what goes around comes back around. what goes up must come down. so i wish you good luck in your stupid fucking endeavours and stop acting like you really do give a shit about the situation because you obviously just wana shrug it off. i dont care how fanicful you place it. its just such a betrayl. to believe a trust was involved. smirking arent you? oblivious brat, insolent idiot, ignorant bitch.

gotta stop now. it'd go on forever so whatever. i'm just so disappointed. really sad that you would've done such a thing. just..go away.

whatever.
i'm in no mood.



hey people.
hmmms. just wana blog about today. hmmms. well firstly i really wana thank delia and cheryl teo for...lets say.advising me. yeahs. you two were real cool ((: thanks so much yes? haha. yeahs.

well for YOU.. i just wana say that..i never expected you to be like that. i never thought you'd accuse and slander so falsely. i know its easy to just blame, but sometimes you gotta look at like, who you're gonna involve. as for now, you've just got yourself into some people's head as a person who isnt that what we thought he was. bascially, you made yor bed now lay in it. dont blame it on others, cuz you had better known that not everyone's gonna be there for you to blame. if you bear to blame someone without thinking of the consequences of your actions on that person, its a very inhumane characteristic displayed by you. i thought highly of you, seriously even if your ignorance towards me had heigtened daily. i never wanted a friendship to be ruined, but it takes two hands to clap. since your hand isnt willing to play, then i cant do anything.

now to the OTHER you, i dont know why you never told me. its very schocking you know? i dont know what you told everyone, but if you relied on me for the situation and throw me aside, or maybe its not that. i'm assuming too much. look, if there's a problem, you have to tell me. not all humans shut their mouths you know, and if you go telling everyone, everyone's just gonna keep telling even more peolple and then what? it comes back to me and i dont even know whats going on until i get into trouble for something i wasnt aware of? hmmmms. dont know think its your actions that i suffered? well. lets not say suffered, but i took the rapt and thats it. i wasnt really involved. if i did give you the idea, then let it be, dont go telling everyone everything, cuz thats not what i enthrusted upon you. and if anyone is willing to spare some ink to print this out, please do. but what i said when i started this blog, i said that if you dont like what you see, get out of here i dont owe you anything neither do you owe me anything. its mutual. its my form of expression, express yourself if you want, badmouth me if you want, i dont care. its alright with me. seriously. if you think that i'm not what i am, do what you want. just know that you will have your consequences, whether good or bad. if you wana find fault in me, do it properly, talk and settle and nnot by brute force. we live in a developing society and not a jurassic era. i dont resort to violence to solve issues. you got an issue, talk it out. be prepared to accept and everything is fine. besides, thats also what i advised you remember? talk it over, but i remembered you said it wont exactly work. hmmms. so its not my fault either.

anyways. i just wana say today has been really one of the shocking issues happening in the last few months. just so shocked by two of you guys' actions. if you wana lie to me, do so, but just know that i wont always believe and yes, i might but the truth will be unravelled sooner or later. i'm not afraid to state that if you wana challenge me, then you're challenging God cuz i've got Him on my side. and i believe that He will watch over me. so you're meddliing with God and not me. its His footprints i lay on the ground, we were created in God's image, a reflection. so if you got problems, approach me, dont force your way into my life. threaten me all you want, contradict yourself all you want, i dont really bother. anyways. lets consider this case closed. i dont hate anyone, really. if you wana reinstate me as a friendship in your list of friends, then i'd be happy that you've changed your mindset. but its the only way. i didnt do anything to make this the situation as what it is today. so yeahs.

anyhoots. lemme touch on the good stuff about today! vocab test! it was rather easy. couldnt do one though. i think at most i'd minus 5 marks. nothing more. and then bio test. rather easy too, almost everything's from the TYS and yeahs. quite confident. yeahs. and then got 2 tests back. lemme do them below:

1. Geography - 14/25
2. Literature - 16/25

i'm glad i did well for lit. quite happy. Jolyn got 19! ilona got 18 pearlyn got like 17 and yeahs. quite a few 16's too anyways. yeahs. melinda got 16 i think yeahs. anyways. geog. i dont know kinda scared about it haha. anyhows. remember the a math differentiation test!!! yeahs. haha. there'll be an e math test next week ya? on locus. next thursday, i think its the 8th of feb. yeahs. sighs. time flies so fast. soon it'll be the scary,huge o's. hmmms. yeahs.

i've listening to Hillsongs now ((: At the Cross, its such a nice song. well look, all contemparary songs are awesome. they're just so lovely and so.... hmmmms. how'd i say it? it just shows you that maybe you were made for something else than studying. so i think its cool to listen to them while studying! haha. anyways. i think i'll go start mugging for differentiation test!! sighs. product rule and quotient rule. remember! quotient rule is u/v and product rule is uv! okays thats all for now!

much love
and sorry to those who think i'm super depressed. and oh, i also wana thank kie wu and delia for taking bus home with me ((: i kinda.. felt a different feeling, you'll get my letters telling you about it haha. yeahs. and xenia, thanks for warning me. i dont regret not listening to you, i think it was the best thing to do. if someone's hypocritical to do such a childish act, then i'll just change my perception of him. i'm not perfect, no one is, and if they dont listen, its not my fault. if he wants to blame it on me, then let him. its alright. if he'll feel better by doing so, let him. i'll be fine. thank you all for helping ((: including leslie yeahs. thanks for eveything ya'll. means a lot to me really. (((((:



hey people.

hmmms. today has been a rather tiring day. anyways lemme talk about yesterday first.


Yesterday
went to school in the morning, yes, saturday morning for lesson. A math lessons. thanks mrs toh for giving us more homework and which equivalents more stress ((: sighs. and then next went to the hawker with eric and jia chun and then came home yeahs. kinda slacked and then went to church and then after that went to eat, and then came back home and slept at 1. hmmms. what an interesting day isnt it? sighs. i know. totally right.

Today
woke up EARLY! again. hmmmms.....went to wesley for service. changed a little bit. they're different, but i still dont jive to their system. well thats in comparison to what i am attending now lahs. hmmms. yeah and saw blanche and everyone. really cool. after service was small group and we talked about the tabernackle and then after small group was lunch! went to p.s and had carls jr. second time eating there. but anyways then bought a christian CD. thereafter i came home and grabbed my stuff went to holland to study, finish work and yeahs. and even until now its not done. there's so much!! simply the worst situation you would wana be in. like c'mon. sighs. and yeahs. i'm gonna have to do it later sighs. anyways.

next week
lotsa tests. tomorrow there is bio test on hormones and nervous system. there also is a mock english test on vocab lists 1 and 2 for all BAND 2 ENGLISH STUDENTS. then there is a differentiation test on wednesday on product, quotient rule and no tangent,normal. there is also an a E math test. i kidna forgot the test date so i'm getting it now. and then theres a chinese test on thursday yeah? its out of the syllabus so you cant study. hmmms. yeahs. next wednesday to friday is sec3 camp! all the sec3's are gonna be gone!!! no!!! its not fun without them although some of them just suck, plain sucky. okays. then hmmms. oh for the e math test right? i dont think its next week but its before CNY so yeahs. then there's english vocab test on friday. yeahs. STUDY HARD PEOPLE!!36 words yeahs? so hmmms. uh huh.

anyways my results for my test: (i might have repeated some)
1. Bio test - 11/20
2. Chemistry test - 21/30
3. S.S test - 7/13
4. E Math common test - 16/30
5. A Math P & C test - 10/20
6. E Math Rate Of Change test - 18/20

alrights. did badly in 4/6 tests. i'm so dead. getting lit test back next week. how about geog? i have NO idea haha. but sighs. sure am i gonna die next week. i dont wana be on white form. WHO DOES?!?! hmmms. yeahs. anyhows. i shall get going then.

much love!!



hey people.

just came back from 'school' like a few 10 mins ago. anyways today was a rather terrible and boring day. let me show u how boring a sec4 life is. also, it was rather stressful. anyways,we have a differentiation test next wednesday and yeah. tomorrow there are 4 math periods. kill me please. we're gonna get back our e math test paper. and here are the results for my tests:

1. Chemistry - 21/30
2. Biology - 11/20
3. Social Studies - 7/13

so overall, i still passed everything. but i'm really nervous about the lit test though and the geog test! how? sighs. anyways. lets step aside from school. lets talk about friendships. something kinda did affect me recently. kinda.. expected i mean, but not to this extent. anyways. let me just share with you my feelings.

when you get close to a friend, and become good friends. or lets just say when you meet a strnger and you become friends, is there anything wrong? not really right? okays. now let me put it this way. if you befriend this stranger who has a boyfriend, it that okay? well i think it is right? so is there anything wrong? no right? hmmmms. okays. but look, its normal to get jealous right? if your girlfriend started hanging out with a guy really often, won't you get a little pissed and jealous? you would right? hmmms. alright now lets look at this closer. if you and your girlfriend have so many problems, but your close friend,who is a girl does things for you like buy chocolates for you and give you unintentionally seductive smiles at you and offers you food everytime she sees you, is that alright to you? if you were a guy? i mean duh. i have problems and i just wana thorw them aside right? hmmms. but how would the girl feel? what do you think she'll feel? alright? perfectly okay? hmmms. i dont think so right... c'mon who would. guys, if your girlfriend started getting close to a guy, would u even be fine with that? no.... look. its not about trusting, its about accpeting and the capability to affect and change the person. some girls dont like to be controlled, we just gotta accept that. some would change for their guys, alike, some guys just dont like following their girls ideas and they follow theirs. i mean whatever it really all is, i think that being smart in a relationship is the most important. being smart in the sense of, being HONEST everytime, if you have problems amongst yourself, its better to talk it out than hide it. try to accept the person for who they are. try to understand the person, look at his/her background. however, if you really cant take the pain, maybe its better to just break-up and leave each other. maybe its the best way. i seriously think that if you're in pain and you dont think your relationship is going to last, mentally prepare yourself for anything to come and when it does. hopefully it wont be that painful.

anyways. thats all i have for today. i'll blog sooner or later.
much love!



hey people.

hmmms. finally got the drive to blog. didnt know how long i was gonna not blog for. but well. anyways. today was super stressful lahs. well what day og sec4 isnt?? hmmms. so anyhows. lemme recite and tell you what happened today ((:

firstly, i woke up a little late and then obviously, arrived in school just on the dot. so anyways had chinese and e math. and realised that the E MATH TEST IS TOMORROW! arghhs! haha. there's the area under the graph and the speed time graph thing. to find acceleration and rate and all those stuff. sighs. yeahs. OH!! i passed re-re exam. THANK GOD LAHS! hahaha. hmmms. yeahs.

anyways. chng taught loci and went thru everything and yeahs hmmms. thereafter, we had recess and hmmms. after recess was a math. mrs toh went throught the questions for a math differentitation's tanget and normal. sighs. its quite stressful you know. sighs. anyways. after that was literature. we had a test. surprising for me lahs. cuz i didnt know that there was gonna be one, but oh wells. it was...hard. super hard. lit was DAMN HARD! aRGHHS! anyways. the questions were like crazy lahs. haha. anyways. after that was geog. mrs tan has gone for a course. SO WE HAVE MS ANG FOR 5 WEEKS!!!! somebody SAVE ME!!!! sighs. hmmms. we're all gonna fail our geography lahs.

notice i keep having anyways here and there. so weird. hmmms. anyways. THERE! arghs. anyHOWS.. after geog was english. did the silly bowling for columbine thing and then we read a little. and then school ended. hmmms. passed up a math book and went to hawker with kelman and kie wu. then went for bio grp study. took hua biao and june to level 5 and we went through everything. they're really cool people to tutor. i like them already ((: haha. anyways. it was DAMN fun today ((: haha. cuz all the teachers had meeting rights?? so its like we all sat at level 5 and 6 benches and we laughed, did work talked and everything lahs. i finished with june and hua biao like at 4 plus. really long. anyways. whilst doing that, i finished my chemistry grp study worksheet for tomorrow. yeahs. anyways. i got geog and e math to study and then i'll be ready for tomorrow lahs. ((: but A MATH! I NEED HELP!!! i missed thursday's lesson lahs. haha. sorry LORRHS. haha.

anyways i wana thank someone for that little thing you gave me. really nice of you ((: thanks ((: ahah. aites. i think thats about all i have to say. tomorrows gonna be stressful too and yeahs.

much love!



when everything comes to an end,
when everything ceases to exist.
when emotions become like lies
when i become nothing to you
you would say that aint true
you'd try to reiterate
but its hard to believe
how you can be doing both
concurrently
by breaking it
does it mean you love me?
is that all so true
i might be fragile
and thats what u dont want
but even so
why now? why me.
why cant you change your decision
ever heard true love persists?
is this true love? when you dont allow me
to even wait for you? its denial
and why?
its heartbreaking.
crying could help
but not if you cried a whole night
no it doesnt
and i have to make myself strong
its just perfectly wonderful.
how this could happen
everything sweet that happened
everything cute that took place
everything sugary you said
everything i believed in
everything i'd do for you
everything i'd sacrifice for you
everything i'd change about myself
everything that you dont know
i understand
but i do give in, if you dont know
i do. and sometimes its huge things.
its not regretting. its cherishing
cherishing what we had.
loving each other again.


i told my dad
he comforted me yeah.
but that wasnt enough
i just couldnt take it.
i was fatigued. plagued by lethargy.
i slept till two and woke up
tears streamed from my eyes
i just couldnt handle it.
it might've been something small.
but to me its painful.
and you know it is. but if that is it
then thats how it would be.
i believed really, a lot in what you said
thats the part that kills me so much
what you know should happen didnt
and what shouldnt happen, happened
its terrorising.i dont know who to seek
i'm just breaking down so much
i should consider skipping school tomorrow.
i dont know. my dad offered me many reasons.
many choices and told me what to do
but it seems impossible. even crying ut to God.
sometimes i just dont know what to say to Him.
its like i'm just at a loss of words.
my heart aches. its killing me.
how'm i supposed to study? i dont see how
its like. how do you want me to do that now?
i'm so breaking down and you want me to study??
to do well for tests? i cant myself. maybe
if you were me yeah. but i cant. you think,
that i dont want to. are you sure? have u not
felt this kinda pain before? i'm sure you have
but then what? isnt it killing you? i mean no.
it doesnt kill you as much as it kills me.
i dont know. up till now i still dont know
what you want me to do. whats best for me.
i dont know how i'm gonna spend my weekends.
those days i'm free and have no work.
those times i need someone to lie on.
those times when i wana tell someone something.
those days when i feel so sad i wana hug someone
those times when i need a true friend beside me.
someone to understand me, help me.
betrayl isnt something small in my life.
if you have gone through you'll know how it is.
i cant just accept any friend as a close or good friend.
its just not like that. its not trust.
its proving yourself actually. but what hurts the most,
isnt just friends. its more of whatever i've seen
whatever i've heard. everything i believed in.
thats what hurts the most. everything i've done.
every effort i'm forked out for you.
and it just comes back as a nice package and breaks me.
i wont blame you. like you said,
perhaps one day i would realise that what you did was right.
but perhaps one day you'll realise what you did was wrong.
and perhaps one day you'll see that all r/s are hard.
and perhaps one day. like my dad said,
if it is for God, then it will always be yours.
perhaps one day we'll meet again. do you remember that line?
when i said that to you, i was a fortress, i didnt care.
and i told you we might meet and get back again, and yeah
we did. didnt we. but this time me loving you more doesnt help
change the fact that you dont love me that much.
yeah. it was what i did. betraying you? maybe. i agree that
seriously i did such a stupid thing. i dont know why.
i dont know. you're a person who doesnt fall to realise
you mistakes. but if so, then why arent you realising that
maybe its wrong. but of course you'll say its right. but how
certain are you? i mean its playable both ways. right?


oh well. i lost my close friend, i lost my friend, now i lose the one i love. its more than disheartening. i've basically lost everything. maybe 2006 and 2007 were terrible years and sure i dont believe everything they say about "oh 2007 is gonna be the BEST year ever" are you sure? it doesnt seem really GOOD you know. i'm quite skeptical. i just dont know what to do anymore. its killing me already just to try to get over this. to let go of everything that i wanted. and yet i know i still have to do it. maybe i should set myself a test. not get into a relationship until the O's are over. i remember stella and shenlynn telling me to just leave her. i know what by doing that it was right. i mean she desrved no better. practically a slut in a cute girl's image. but this is different. why must we both be so strong headed? why must we not be the same? i'm listening to James Morrison's Wonderful World. "i know that its a wonderful from the sky down to the sea". hmmms. no thats not always true as seen here. i'm gonna flunk all my tests.

i've set myself targets and i will overcome them. but right now. i just really need some help from some people. i dont know who. but if you really wana help me. and if i mean something to you, at least i mean something to another human being on earth other than my parents. then do message me. i just dont know what to do. just know that if you do advise me, i might not take it wholeheartedly. but i just think that maybe if i had some others helping me by and by, maybe i'll turn out less of a moron and a fiasco. anyways. there's a math re-re-exam and if i do go to school i'll have to take my chem test too i think. i'm sure i would flunk them though. i mean what gives you the impression that i wont? so what. flunk all of them then get white form. what the hell. it doesnt really matter does it? i mean i'm not waiting after school for 6 hours anymore am i? i'm not calling you everyday anymore. i'm not messaging you that often, in fact none at all today. i dont hug you, kiss you or do anthing with you anymore do i? so if that means to get white form, then so be it. who gives a damn about it anyways. its only a silly form where you get fucking controlled. i wont say i'm pissed now. i'm disappointed, yes i did disappoint you too. i'm hurt. sure i did hut you too. its just quite unbelievable. unreasonable. maybe i mean. rarely do i do things just cause i WANT TO and i have no reason. but since thats what you chose then so be it. i mean i dont know what defects about me can make you not want me anymore. what? you've seen my true colours since like months ago, i'm not that ugly or bitchy am i? is my character idiotic? and impossible to handle? i dont know you see. sigh. whatever it is. i'm just getting more and more tired. i just dont feel like i wana get into another relationship anytime soon. i dont know. anyhoots.

i guess its till here
and i would like to plead with all you people who are willing to help, please do help. its you that i need. i mean i'm picky and fussy but i wont be that picky unless its a rude case, implausible. i dont know. we'll see how it goes anyway.


p.s i did read your blog, and hmmms. the last part wasnt directed to me was it? if it was, then its not really true. especially the part. you wish you'd believe that i'd come back to you? when? are you sure? cuz i dont think you want me to. at least not now. and i'm sure you'll find many people. you're not that pretty, but you have a beauty of yourself. and you would do it all over again. if you dont even wana love me now, what would make you love me next time? oh wells. anyways. i wana say that i'm sorry for being so sticky, so controlling, demanding and i really think that even till now, maybe we should never have gone out becuase you're way superior than i am. i dont deserve someone like you. you're out of my league. really. i wana help you. i really do. i dont need to be a boyfriend to you, but i wana be there for you like you were for me. i'm sorry for giving you so much stress. for not giving you room. for everything bad i'm done. if you dont wana accept it, its ok. i believe that theres a time to be sorry for things you've done. to learn that maybe its not always right to just get over things like that. you're not stupid okays? really. you're not. i wont love a stupid person. but you wernt so thats why i loved you. of course you can say that i'm also stupid. so i'm stupid to have loved a stupid person. haha. but oh wells. hmmms. wasnt that "haha" my frist in this whole thing? well. if i wrote this for my literature essay i'd impress mr chai. sighs. anyways.

i miss those times when we had so much fun. when we didnt have troubles. when we were all so happy. i miss those times whe you helped me through everything, yes dependent on you, but i miss them. i miss those times when your cards made me smile. it would suddenly being me up. i miss those time when you'd encourage me. its so convincing. i miss the time when you bought me the white rose with delia and i bought you the 6 roses? when you gave me the red rose after i came back from Aust. when u picked me up from the airport. i miss the time when we walked to holland from my house. i miss the time when we take pics. whether nice or not. i miss the time you were so supportive of me when i was a prefect. i miss the time when we would go for so many movies where it would make me happy. i miss all the shopping. i miss the introduction of new places like esplanade and so on so forth. but most of all, i miss you more than any string of words can show or prove.



This is Cascada's vesion of Truly,Madly,Deeply:
I'll be your dream
I'll be your wish
I'll be your fantasy
I'll be your hope
I'll be your love
Be everything that you need.
I love you more with every breath
Truly, madly, deeply, do..

I will be strong
I will be faithful
Because I am counting on a new beginning
A reason for living
A deeper meaning yeah

I wanna stand with you on a mountain
I wanna bathe with you in the sea
I wanna lay like this forever
Until the sky falls down on me

And when the stars are shining brightly in the velvet sky
I'll make a wish send it to heaven
That'll make you wanna cry
The tears of joy for all the pleasure and the certainty
That we're surrounded by the comfort and protection
Of the highest power and lonely hours
The tears divide you

I wanna stand with you on a mountain
I wanna bathe with you in the sea
I wanna lay like this forever
Until the sky falls down on me

Oh, can't you see it baby?
Don't have to close your eyes
'cause it's standing right before you
All that you need will surely come

I'll be your dream
I'll be your wish
I'll be your fantasy
I'll be your hope
I'll be your love
Be everything that you need
I love you more with every breath
Truly, madly, deeply, do..

I wanna stand with you on a mountain
I wanna bathe with you in the sea
I wanna lay like this forever
Until the sky falls down on me

I wanna stand with you on a mountain
I wanna bathe with you in the sea
I want to lay like this forever
Until the sky falls down on me

(I wanna stand with you on a mountain
I wanna bathe with you in the sea
I want to lay like this forever
Until the sky falls down on me)

I wanna stand with you on a mountain



sigh. i never imagined that a song like THIS can be so touching. i mean Truly,Madly,Deeply wasn never a song that i LOVED and adored or found it sweet. but now. it has changed my mindset.

Then there's DHT's I GO Crazy:
I go crazy
When I look in your eyes
I still go crazy
No my heart just can't hide that feeling inside
Way deep down inside
Oh baby you know when I look in your eyes
I go crazy


Yeah. i still do go crazy. well for now i still do.


Stand By You by Girls Aloud:
Oh why'd you look so sad
tears are in your eyes
come on and come to me now
dont be ashamed to cry
let me see you through
cuz i've seen the dark side too

when the night falls on you
dont know what to do
nothihng you can say can make me love you less


hmmms. thats quite true. sighs. oh wells. i guess i'm exhausted of songs to show now. sighs. anyhows. i hope that at least my life turns around. i dont feel fit for school at all. a frown goes across my face and i'm supposed to go to school? hmmms. no i dont think so.anyhows. i guess i shall end off here. well i wanted to just now but i didnt. anyhows. this is all. the longest post i've had up on my blog ever. anyways. for those who have read till here, i wana ask you again. if you would help i'd be really happy.

thanks you guys
much lvoe to you all



the day kinda sucked....again. it was a horrendous day. it was monotonous and terribily boring. had SS test. quite ok i think, oh well its quite unpredictable actually. i mean social studies.. how you gonna know if you do well? anyways the topic is Housing and the question is about the policies like social cohesion. structured essay, 13 marks. so yeahs. then there was chinese. amazingly got 18/40. although still, didnt pass so who cares. and then it was P.E omg. i lost weight again. i think i'm gonna be underweight this year. yeahs. 175cm tall. hmmmms. didnt grow.. )): anyways.after that was P.D. mrs toh changed it to P&C test. it was kinda....tricky. i didnt know if it was correct. very worried. sighs.

anyhows. after that was bio. it was utterly boring. then afterwards, it was geog. mrs tan gave us homework again and yeahs. kill me too. then it was a math. mrs toh taught quotient rule. and 2 periods, we did 3 questions thats cuz it keeps getting harder. i'm gonna do badly lahs. hais. i really dont know how come dont understand lahs. its like FUCKING hard lahs. anyways.

anyways. still being kinda moody recently. i dont know how long i'm gonna be until i turn happier. ahhs. anyways. i swear later i'll start telling you about sad situations. trust me i will. anyways tomorrow is gonna be hell of a bad day lahs. we had chemistry test and then after school i have the stupid chinese remedial/group study thing. kill me lahs. arghs. oh wells. anyways. then there's e math and a math. 4 periods of math. HOW STUPIDLY FUN!!!! I CANT WAIT! like what the hell no. please lahs. i wana die already okays. sighs. kill me please!!! sec4 life is the worst thing to go through.

anyways. time for the sad part.
have you ever felt that you're losing the thing you treasure the most? hmmms. what do you do? do you let it slip away? of do you try to chase it? if it were a friend what would you do? if it was someone you detested what would you do? i mean. duh if you detest that person you dont treasure the person, but would u try to make friends again and give it another shot? do you believe in giving a second chance?if you do? how if after giving the second chance the person doesnt do anything? ever felt rejected? what did you do after that? just fegin ignorance? well this is quite needless to ask, but ever felt sad? like so sad that you could just cry out of nothing? have u cried so much that your eyes swelled the next day? ever cried so much until you feel dry of tears and your eyes hurt? well technically you dont cry nothing, cuz the action of crying means tears come out so yeahs. anyways.

i dont know. life can be so difficult. when you dont want something, that something actually needs you to want it the most. but when youm want it, that something might just not want you to anymore. its so irnoical. how 2 people who stick together for a long time can be the greatest of enemies. dont you think its logical? evading problems by running away is queer, really weird actually. but do you think its the best method to go through? is pain the only way to solve heartbreaking issues? isnt all these so difficult to answer? i mean like theres no correct nor wrong answer but dont you think its like painful to go through all these? would this affect you personally? i dont know. maybe some of you might actually have gone through at least one? but personally, going through all is hell. going through it either subsequently or concurrently. it sucks. really. its terrible. you just hope that the earth would crash on you and kill you instantly. its like your insides all crush and you feel so terrible. sigh. i dont know what i'm ranting. its full of shit. maybe sometimes we should all be more aware that things arent going right. maybe God should've made us animals that dont have such capability to think to such great extents. maybe we wont have so many problems in life. sighs. anyways i think i've crapped enough.

till here then
see ya'll



okays.
let me try to not let this sound so emo depressing and negative yeahs. but lets give it a shot.


these few days have been like one of the worst days in my whole year. i mean considering todays the 16th, its for the record, getting a terrible-day mark in your book. its like sucky lahs. hais. everythings not going well. depressing, saddening, stressful, irritating, tiring lahs. one night i slept for like 4 hours, another slept 2. last night slept at 1 am lahs. its terrible seriously. secondary 4 life sucks especially when you got your own problems in your life.

anyways. yesterday was kinda stupid. we had the normal, usual boring lessons and had a test. CHINESE test. trust me i think its better than the others but whether i'll still do well is out of the question. i hope wang ying doesnt kill me )): then my week would be spoilt even more. haiss. anyways after school we went for the stupid peer tutor thing. LUNCH WAS PROVIDED and it kinda was....yikes. terrible lets say? hmm yeah. anyways it was super boring. finished copying samantha's a math 1 and then went to the library to study with chicky and i did some english, literature(which i'm supposed to pass up today but i didnt) and then some geog. studied for today's test. it was rather broing a day seriously. oh and i got 16/30 for english compo. like wtf. sigh. how bad is compos now lahs!?

today. woke up on time, reached school amazingly, early. met dennis on the way, and then walked with him to school and to class. sat down and read. jo was on my right i think? anyways there was bio test and geog test today so i tried to revise my stupid tests. to no avail. it sucked. couldnt concentrate in the morning. felt kinda lost. i'm so sorry for those people who've noticed i'm a little mooodless sometimes. its like you know how sometimes people write compositions and say that the person falls into their own world, into another dimension, yeah. its like that. i just start stoning and get lost in my own thoughts. so yeahs. sorry if i look a little...dazed. unfazed. got some problems now. just trying to sink into reality. haha. anyways. after that wase math period, and mr chng aurghs.... taught loci and then said it was easy and blahs. he's gonna scold me tomorrow because i didnt do the work as he wanted. but hais whatever lahs. the most important is i still did it right? so wth lahs.then ahiya.the whole day sucked lahs. then geog test was rather easy i hope? i hope i'll do well. bullshitted quite a lot.then after that was chem grp study. slacked and studied bio. then after grp study i went for bio test. got fucking scolded by mr ma. wth lahs. ridiculous lahs. i mean its not like i WANTED to be a motherfucking peer tutor in bio lahs. he said as a peer tutor dont do work is unaccepable. HELLO I DONT KNOW HOW TO DO OKAYS!? you cant scold a student for not KNOWING how to do. why not think to yourself if you've done a GOOD job in teaching your students well. maybe you'd be the smarter of the 2 if you did that.the bio test was really hard. i think i'll fail lahs.

hais. tomorrow is like Social Studies and A Math Permutations and Combinations test. its gonna be like what lahs. i can do P&C but i'm not always confident sometimes answers might be wrong den notice mistake. sighs. anyways i'm worried for the E Math Common Test lehhs. some people in other classes failed lahs. freaky k. esp is chng marked them. sighs. i'm so tired alreadys. 2 tests to study ahhs. ARGHS! anyways.

i guess its till here then
much love people
check back soon!



hey people.
sighs. today there was like tonnes of stress. its like sigh. when u have 2h20mins of math lessons how'd you feel? stressed..right? i mean like hello.....mrs toh comes in doing a new topic of differentiation, ie. Product of a function and then after that mr chng comes in scolding us because some idiots didnt do their work well and then goes through the rate of change worksheet and then its like whoa like that. i mean how much more tired can you get?? sigh. anyways.

i just picked my peer tutie for chem, her name's JUNE! yays. [claps hands]. now its gonna be easy lahs. june's chem is quite good right? haha. so yeahs. EASY LARHS! haha. how long was it ago since i used ACTUAL singlish? okays not long right? hahaha. anyways.... tomorrow is the E Math Common Test and i just looked through and tried studying in school on the whole statistics topic and i think i'm gonna flunk it. real bad. i cant remember hot to do lahs. okays since i've got so much space, let me try reciting them here.

mean: average
median: middle term
mode: most frequent.

to find frequency density, take frequency divide by the difference in terms. for example, frequency is 80, range:[10
Upper Quartile: 75% of graph. (Q3)
Lower Quartile: 25% of graph. (Q1)
Interquartile range: Q3-Q1=Q2. this = 50%
Cumulative freqency graph should end with the TOTAL AMOUNT of a certain term.

Remember, if the question requires you to find the higher score between 2 papers of exams, find the MEDIAN of all terms, read the marks then see which scored higher.

If the question asks you to find how much a person who scored 50 marks for paper 1, find paper 2, u trace up 50 marks to the curve where it cuts, trace it to the x axis then back down to the y axis and read the answer.

if the question asks you how to find the average of all goals scored in the soccer matches, you take all the TOTAL number of goals scored divided by the TOTAL number of games played. yeahs.




i think thats like all, i swear there's some stuff wrong in there, but sigh. i dont know lahs. whatever. i tried already. put in effort already, so thats that. tomorrow is xenia's birthday. so wana wish her a happy birthday in advance and May God Bless you this one year that you're 16!

okays. thats all i have and i'm gonna end off, tomorrow or the day after that i'll blog about the crazy tests next week and my opinions on "certain matters" keep watching this space for more information and the juicy thoughts. [at least what i think it would be (((:]

much love!!

every life is a new experience

Tuesday, January 09, 2007 ;

1/09/2007 08:10:00 PM

ASLO!!!

Students from 402, remember to finish the PERMUTAIONS AND COMBINATIONS WORKSHEET BY TOMORROW otherwise you'll find yourself in deep shizz. Also, remember to finish your E Math worksheet's first 2 pages by Thursday. yeahs. thats all for now.

much love!!

every life is a new experience

;

1/09/2007 06:54:00 PM

Hey people.
haha. hmmmms. i'm loving this real old song by Paula Deanda, Walk Away(Remember Me) and i'm still jiving to Beyonce's song: Listen. Its like such a powerful song. also, i'm jiving to Ashley Tisadle's Headstrong. its an awesome song! i mean like its really cool considering that i had a really terrible image of Ashley. i mean of most Disney-cum-contemparary-music artists. its amazing really. haha. anyways. my day was kinda. uhms. rather slowly paced and 'boring' actually. yeahs. had lotsa lessons today. and i was kinda tired and dead after school ended which was 2.15 for my class. anyways. yeahs. did some studying and taught Vina math and then that was it. i'm back home. oh i hung out with Wei Guang and Dennis. is there a double n to his name? oh wells. anyways.

Today i'm free cuz i have no homework and i shall take my own sweet time to finish this because i have nothing to do until like 9 plus. so yeahs. but right now, i'm gonna have dinner, so i shall leave here for later. what the heck. what you'll see is the completed thing. damn. i'm bullshitting so much. alrights. forget it ((: hmmmms. oh wells. just finished dinner and had a bath. feel so refreshed ((: hahaha. i mean arent baths like that? anyways. this post is the weirdest. i mean just to prove to you that i dont always feel sad, and to prove that i'm not emo, here is a post that doesnt have that SAD things going on and emo-ish stuff. cuz i dont think of death everyday and i dont dress emo-ish either and yeahs. whatever.

Anyways i'm not gonna miss my show later. its getting more and more interesting lahs. its like i think Alex and Andrea are not gonna get back together whilst Louis is like either gonna get killed by Ashen or he'll survive and i dont know what would happen. but i'm hoping that George and Louis get killed lahs. they're a bunch of idiots. together with victoria. haha. okays. dont know what i'm talking about? watch Desire:Table For Three at 10-11 p.m on weekdays, also repeated at 1.am the following day and 5.p.m. yeahs. its really cool.

oh yeah have you heard? i'm peer tutor for biology and chemistry lahs. haha. its so funny. omg. i think they'd like either not understand me, or i'll accidentally teach the wrong thing. no lahs. dun worry okays people? i'll only teach if i know i'm teaching the right stuff. okays? hahahas. anyways for chemistry, my tutite is Ilona. Eric wants to join and i personally feel that Eric needs help. so i think i'll try to do both Ilona and Eric at the same time. Hope that they would be able to understand me haha. anyways. uhhms. i noticed that i had some 'lahs' in here. its quite...weird cuz i rarely use singlish okayss. haha. its frequently normal, standard english words, but in regard to the phrasing of the sentences, its like crap la. haha. there another singlish. omg. anyhows. uhhms. i'm getting really self-consious. and i'm getting bored too.

i really want to know who that cheesy person is on my tag-board. hmmmms. its so mysterious. if you even do care, do e-mail me about yourself okays? let me know who you are. i believe you have seen my e-mail below, but if not, here it is: marcusklz@hotmail.com aites. okays. just before i leave, i would like to do a test reminder thing. here it is:

Tests around the corner:
1. E Math Statistics Common Test - Friday, 12th January 2007 after school from 1.30-latest 2.45
2. Geography Changing Population Test - Tuesday, 16th January 2007
3. A Math Permutation & Combination Test - Wednesday, 17th January 2007
4. Chemistry Rate Of Reaction Test - Thursday, 18th January 2007
5. A Math Re-Exam - Friday, 19th January 2007 after school at 1.30-3.30
6. Social Studies Housing Common Test - Unsure of date, but its in week 3

yeahs. thats about all that i can think of. and i guess its like really study hard till the end man. its gonna be a really tiring and tough year ahead. and i hope that i can last all this....stress and whatever it all is. it sure will kill me. anyways. To those Math and Science Members (which would actually not visit my blog,) do remember that there will be a meeting tomorrow in Robotics room at 3.30 and will last about 2 hours. Pass this message on if you have seen this.


alrights. thats really all people. hope you've enjoyed the bullcrap!
til' next time
much love!!!

every life is a new experience

Saturday, January 06, 2007 ;

1/06/2007 02:52:00 PM

hey people.
i dont know what happened to my internet but i like it ((: haha.

anyways. yesterday i stayed back to watch the sec1 orientation camp pregress and to be honest it seemed fun but anyway i felt that firstly, it ran slowly, much slower than when i commanded it last year-well there was SO much stress last year ok..... and secondly, i think it will improve because Ms B has taken over and i'm sure the standard would be pulled up ((: lets cheer 3 times [ok. do it quietly. opppssss]

hahas. and i came back at about 7. was actually exhausted. fatigued, seriously i dont know why. i was just walking around with yumi and joel and jeng ting. hmmms. anyhows. after that i just fell asleep till 11.15 and i missed Desire:Table For Three. damn it. so i'm supposed to catch it toaday at 4.30 p.m but then there's church later at 5. so i cant either. so i dont know how la. )):

supposed to meet xenia earlier but then i overslept. i'm like a pig. sigh. and then when i woke she asked me to meet her just before church started. so ideal isnt it. oh well. lets ignore the fact that thats not what i wanted, but anyways it would happen and i have this premonition something bad's gonna happen. i dont know why. sigh. anyways. this weekend, 402 students have lots and lots of work.

1. Lit students-Page 396[if i'm not mistaken] of Macbeth. to be handed in on Monday
2. A Math Students-A Math T.Y.S to be done in A Math 3. To be handed in on Monday
3. Band 2 English Students-Composition on Disaster. To be handed in on Monday
4. E Math Students-Remember to buy all of Mr Chng's items needed for E Math on Monday
5. E Math Students-Remember to study for this Friday's E Math Common Test to be held after school. Between 2.15-3.30.

and thats about all. thank goodness my class didnt get Mr Chia for our P.E lesson, and instead, Mr Chan....? right? so lets hope that its not gonna be that bad okays. )): i dont wana run 14 rounds on the first day of school. i mean wth. even Ms Liu wouldnt do that. if any other teacher would take height and weight on the first day, why would you make them RUN 14 ROUNDS ON THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL?!?! i mean thats ridiculous ok. its not like they're gonna finish it right? anyways.

i've complained enough, made my point and now i shall shut up and stay dormant for about 1 or 2 more days depending on my mood and state of boredness. til then people.

love ya'll!!!

every life is a new experience

Monday, January 01, 2007 ;

1/01/2007 02:18:00 AM

hey people.
its a NEW YEARR!

wana wish everyone a HAPPY NEW YEAR AND MAY THIS YEAR BE A HAPPY, JOYFUL, FUN, STUDIOUS, DEVELOPING, SEXY NEW YEAR! hahaha.

i wana thank everyone who wished me this morning. that was like in the last 2 hours and 50 minutes. and i would like to say that its been a pleasure being friends with so many poeple! i mean i might be late by 1 day to do the friends thing. but i do think that i'm surrounded by so many good friends. i mean like those that really do help you when you dont expect them to. sometimes it just warms your heart. i really am not looking forward to 2007 although i've already stepped into this world. but i hope that its gonna be a nie year to me. [like real. the big o's okayys]

anyways school starts soon. FINISH ALL YOUR HOMEWORK PEOPLE!
and i really do have a feeling that * is not our teacher for THAT SUBJECT. it cant be! HE/SHE is not the FOR_ teacher of 01 either. so its queer although kie wu said HE/SHE would be. so its really interesting though. haha.

aites
till now
SEE YOU!!!!
loves people!

every life is a new experience

MKLZ
15+
16SEPT91
(SEEMINGLY)SINGLE
TRUSTING R/S OR F/S
HONESTY IN A R/S
NON BACK-STABBERS
FAITHFULNESS
OH FUCK OFF IF U DONT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT ME



SINCE 14TH OCTOBER 2006

`The Road (the happenings);

RE-EXAMS??
AUSTRALIAN TRIP!-11-18th Nov
JAPAN TRIP!-6-12th Dec
New SET OF Clothes
ZARA Shirt!!!(89.90 bucks)
Do well for O's
Gain more weight (-_-)"
MORE MONEY!!!!
NEW PHONE!!
E.O.Y Shopping!
New Fragrances!
MORE New Fragrances!(54 more)
Pass MORE TESTS in 2007
Do well for RE-RE-EXAM-A Math
Be a good Peer Tutor:Bio,Chem
try my best,wait for her
HER
waiting........

`Tag it loves;

`The Songs;

`The Links ;

ARYANI
ALLY
ABDULLAH
ALEX
AHNUSH.
ANDRE
ALICIA

BLANCHE

CONSTANCE
CHRIS
CECELIA

DARREN
DERRICK

EDWARD
ELISA

FIERSA

GANG
GAWAIN

JOLYN
JUSTIN O.
JUSTIN D.
JUNE

KRIZZIA
KIE WU(BLOGGER)
KIE WU(LIVE J)

MACBETH LITERATURE BLOG(POEM INCLUDED)
MICHELLE L.
MILDRED
MELINDA
MALVIN

PAMELA

RYAN A.

SAKINAH
SARA H.
SHU YA
SEEN TENG
SHANS
SHANS 2
SYLVIA X H
STELLA
SIS'S
SHEN
SAMANTHA

THE KHOO'S BLOG

VON
VALENCIA

WANYU
WEILI
WAIYOKE

XINYING

YU CHUAN
YING HUI

ZHEN REN
ZHENG YAN

`The Credits;

designer | kathleen
image | moonburst23
brushes | aethereality.net
font | violation

`My Past;

July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007