Friday, December 15, 2006 ;
12/15/2006 03:11:00 AM
right now..
i'm feeling really lost, depressed, abandoned, tired, weary, cautious, exhausted, fatigued, betrayed, distrusted, disgusted, cheated, loathed, frustrated, blammed, alone, ignored.
there's deciet, distrust, lack of trusting/belief, injustice, unfairness.
and i'm on the berge of breaking down, giving up, dying, passing out and thats all.
i think i'm gonna die. if not i think i'll die. i'm gonna pass out from this stuff. its tedious. its painful. its suffering that i cant accept. i'm exhausted, fatigued. i'm so tired of running this make-belief stuff. i dont know what to do. i'm really lost. i feel alone, and well the more people i dont wana attract the more frustrated i get. sigh. i dont know what to do. its been 2 days and i'm still so messed up. whats wrong with me? i keep sasking myself and the only answer i can think of is "everything". oh well. isnt that what everyone thinks as well? sigh. my words are ignored. my presence goes unoticed i feel surreal. am i even a human? do i have a place on earth? then why does it seem like i'm in the place but no one notices me? no one acknowledges me? oh wait. there is. shanin. she's been really helpful. the world is so mean isnt it? how sometimes when it goes one way a little you get into trouble but when it goes the exact scenario, but in another case, the other person doesnt? sigh. its the exact same issue and the difference is you get into trouble whilst the other person doesnt. its so. frustrating isnt it? sometimes people are just too shortsighted to notice that their predictions are wrong, to notice that the world isnt only made up of them. arrogance perhaps. sometimes when arrogance takes over a person, he/she believes that no matter what, they are correct. and in actual fact, they're obviously not. its so ironical how the person can be so true and so false in just a matter of hours. and then the arrogance kicks in, and he/she refuses to accept the truth. its really saddening. suffering so much. sigh. oh well. i'm blabbering too much. i guess i'll shut the fuck up now.
see you all
every life is a new experience
