Thursday, November 23, 2006 ;
11/23/2006 12:38:00 AM
i just listened to a song. kinda saddening. just right for my mood. its Every Season by Nichole Nordeman. uhh. i cant remember the spelling so dont ask me to spell her name if you see me next time yeah. anyways i got the lyrics over here. its outdated. its an album from 2000. thats 6 years. but here it is:
Every evening sky, an invitation
To trace the patterned stars
And early in July, a celebration
For freedom that is ours
And I notice You
In children’s games
In those who watch them from the shade
Every drop of sun is full of fun and wonder
You are summer
And even when the trees have just surrendered
To the harvest time
Forfeiting their leaves in late September
And sending us inside
Still I notice You when change begins
And I am braced for colder winds
I will offer thanks for what has been and was to come
You are autumn
And everything in time and under heaven
Finally falls asleep
Wrapped in blankets white, all creation
Shivers underneath
And still I notice you
When branches crack
And in my breath on frosted glass
Even now in death, You open doors for life to enter
You are winter
And everything that’s new has bravely surfaced
Teaching us to breathe
What was frozen through is newly purposed
Turning all things green
So it is with You
And how You make me new
With every season’s change
And so it will be
As You are re-creating me
Summer, autumn, winter, springit doesnt mean really anything much to me. but it does have some qualities. maybe sometimes nature is the best thing to keep you relaxed and calm about all your troubles. Maybe that could mean God maybe sometimes you just shouldnt worry so much. see the thing is, even if i had said that i cant heed myself. its like why does a doctor die? cant he heal himself? thing is he HAS TO DIE get it? so i have to go through this the hard way. and i have to cry, to suffer to die inside. For what? for someone else's doings? hmm. isnt that a little unreasonable? the thing is that the person wont even know that i'm going through this will he? he thinks its just a friendship thats worthless. thats not important now that he has found other sources of friendships or more. wonderful life i lead, indeed nothing you'll want to share with me nor experience.
heard that a picture's worth a thousand words? well yes. sometimes taking a picture of me being sad could represent to the world what sadness means. what pain means what hurt means what betrayal means what everything you dont wana be is. and this hurts and impacts the most doesnt it? it leaves the deepest cut. Remember the song by Sheryl Crow? The First Cut Is The Deepest? well all cuts are the deepest and not the first. it gets perpetuated with every subsequent cut. its like tenstion, its like piling 5 Kg bricks onto someone's back sooner or later the person will collapse of sheer heaviness. so its the same. getting cut more and more through the years only makes it worse. hurts a person more. and getting hurt more only leads to self conciousness and i dont wana be thinking what happens after these issues.
if i didnt make sense in those thousands of rants, i'm sorry. but i guess its the process of growing up and experiencing life on your own. cheers
every life is a new experience
